Steph

As a young child I loved summer like all do. But now that I am older it is not as fun as I remember. It was 3 moths of now school, fun at the beach, at the water park. But all that is gone now well I still have some of those days. But it is not all my summer now. Now it has to do with finding a job and living a life. 2 things that I don't have and never gotten good at. It is all a learning experience. I'm not sure what my summer will hold for me. I guess there is only 1 way to find out and that is to live. Through the hard times and the times when people tell me what they think when I really don't want there 2 cents. But at times I feel like being a child and enjoying summer again. I think back and how badly I wanted to grow up. Now all I want to do is be a kid again. Unfortunately I can't go back in time. So I will live today as if it is the last and enjoy it so in another 20 years I wont go back and say "o how I wish for those days again."
Think back on your favorite things that u did as a kid during the summer. Do 1 or 2 of them this summer you are never to old to enjoy your summer. I know I'm not and I will go to the beach and maybe the water part even the aquarium which I haven't been to since I was like in 3rd grade. Yeah I am going to enjoy while I work the best of 2 world.

Ever fell like whatever you do is just not good enough??? Or you are helping out someone and no matter how much work you do that person just is not satisfied???Well I fell like that most of the time... I try to help my mom around the house and do whatever I can to make her life easy... However it still not good enough... Like I did nothing she finds the 1 or 2 thing I didn't do or I just forgot to do... I try my hardest every time... It doesn't help that she has told me that she didn't want me... So I fell like I have to prove to her that it was a good thing that she had me.. Then again at times I'm not sure really was it a good thing that I am on this earth... She remindes me that my brother was planed and I was not... So why I am still around... Well I guess I never really had a mom growing-up.. When I was little I was shipped off to live other family members... So now that I live at home I wan't her to be the mom I have always wanted... I don't think that will ever happen and it sucks... I fell like I did something wrong... So I try to be the best daughter that I can... So she doesn't regret having me... But no matter what I do it just well just not GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!!

The sun wakes me up. The smell of Jasmin fills my room in the morning. The best smell I could ever wish to wake up too. Everything is fresh and the grass is green. Spring is one of the best times of the year. It is time to go out and find new things out in the world. It is time to get out of the house and out from under the covers. Winter is over Which means cute clothes to wear and tuns of fun is waiting for you. So go out have a picnic and smell the flowers. Walk a dog at the mall or even your own dog. Grab a friend and go to the park that you loved when you were a child and play again. You may be grown-up but that doesn't mean you are ever to old to go down the slide or swing on the swing set. Sure there may be people that will look at you wired but hell they are the ones that are missing out.So have fun and get out explore and do things you want to do.

Hibernation is over people.

They had a nice tribute until Micheal Jackson was on... He had nothing to do with the academy awards his movie was never nominated he was never nominated... He was an irresponsible idiot.... I don't give a rats ass about his music and I never thought he was good.... The academy left of Farrah Fawcett and Bea Aurthur... They were amazing actresses who were apart of the academy... They needed to be in that memorial... They loved life and poor Farrah fought for hers up till the moment she died... I am fine with him in like a memorial for the Grammies that is were he belongs.... Not when it come to stuff like this.. They need to do research on who they decide that should go into the tribute... Clearly this person doesn't know what the HELL they were doing.... I know the academy got hell for that too... I would love to know how to be able to do the tribute and do it for the Academy Awards.... I don't care if you do not think that I am right... But I have watched these awards since I can remember and I know the are only 30 spots but this was the worst Memorial Tribute that was ever done....

I am not the skinniest person out there and god I would never want to be. However just like the next person out there I don't eat all the time. Last weekend I was eating almost everything in sight. Now I feel so bad because of it. It makes me feel like I have no control. So now I have my control back. I know that there are a lot of people that are not going to agree with my ways but it is what I know. It has worked in the past and how does that old saying go, " If it ain't broke don't fix it." That is how I feel. I know there are people that know what I am talking about. I am not trying to be like the modles or actros that do this to get a job. Well if I get a job in the process then that is just a plus. But I am doing this so I can be happy about myself and that is not what people see. When they tell me that this way is not healthy. But then again the way I am right now is not healthy either.

School and education is very important. But what if you are just not any good at it? Should you really be wasting your time and money going to get an education and become what you most likely don't want to become. I do enjoy going and learning new facts but I suck at it and I never get any good grades. I could be doing other things with my life. I would have a job if I could find one. I do wish I was good at school but I am not. everyone is expecting me to do great things but I am not going to do anything great I know that. However, it is hard to tell those that tolerate me that I am a failure. They already know that they just tend to be nice about it.

I am close to three of my male cousins. But the one female that is just a couple of years younger then me has always been better then me. I my family everything is about winning. So as we grew-up I was always compared to her and she would treat me like I was below her. I was raised to treat people with some respect. For a while I was finally being treated better then her. But now well she is winning again. Everyone thinks that she is going to do great things in the world. I have to beat her. I know I know it is kind of childish of me. But the thing is if I don't try then she will think that I am weaker and she got the best of me. I refuse for her to think that. I know this is me complaining o all of you. I think that I deserve to be able to complain once in a while. So I just have to find a way to win. I hate to loose. I know I can win I just need to find my way to win. Until next time I will have advice next time